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WHERE SHE WENT PDF PORTUGUES

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people depressed me so I took my suitcase and went out in the rain and began kicked her feet; she had nice legs, high heels, and she kicked her legs and. This one guidance counselor went through the whole group and finally came to .. baby-sitting or when she was living with us and my parents went to another. This eBook is designed and published by Planet PDF. For more free .. go away; but, cheating herself, she went on all the same sorting out her things and.

He became more stressed, more nervous and I was thinking that it was adolescence, but it seems that was something that began to affect him without me realizing it.

In the same vein, one of the professional observes: [the crisis] […] is a certain perplexity and is something of being lost. The feeling that I have, without wanting to fall into a common place, is of really being lost it.

Like a wave that comes rushing in and dunks you and I do not know which way to go. Even if it appears suddenly, being marked by a unique and singular character, its causes and origins, as well as its solution, they would be drawn on the past history and on the memories of the subjects, but also in the group and cultural The crisis of the adolescent as condensation of other crises For the family the crisis also raised a strong suffering: We see her suffer, we see that without being able to do anything.

These passages corroborate the idea that the crisis is not only individual, involving elements of intrapsychological, interpsychological, and material realities Her mother on the other hand decides to move with her daughter to another city where relatives lived.

After this crisis the father returned from his hometown to help in his daughter's care. Partially because of this, her death was felt as the collapse of the service itself. One of the professionals associates the different disorganization experiences in a assumption of cause for Luciana's third crisis: Several things were adding up. The loss of her mother, this pregnancy… because she did not want to get pregnant, did not have her father's support, right?

She was the figurine of the house, associated with these questions… it made Luciana freak out for good, right? We understand that Luciana's mother exercised the intermediary function Concomitantly, the pregnancy requires her to leave the place of daughter to be a mother, function that is associated with a new time of crisis.

Through these examples, we hope to have shown that the crisis, usually located in only one subject, is awakened by and awakens instabilities, breaks, insufficiencies in psychological, social, institutional, and cultural instances These instances are needed so that the subject prepares the crisis and, paradoxically, in this process, they end up being transformed.

And I said she was not.

In the third crisis the teenager did not recognize herself as the mother to the daughter who'd just been born and stopped eating and showering, ending up with a weakened body.

In the accompanied stories, we noticed a quest for the control lost, by both parents and the service, which often resulted in certain violence in the strategies. The CAPSi, for example, before the crisis of the users, had, in all cases, as first action the transference of these to a space associated with the possibility of containment and control: the General Hospital HG of the Municipality, with which the service has difficulty of communication, making it impossible to monitor the teens during hospitalization.

For this instances of support in the institutions are necessary, that enable other destinies for the crisis.

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While we understand the difficulty of commenting on a difficult time with a researcher with whom the bond is still initial, we also assume that these adolescents could not find, in their paths, propitious spaces to develop some kind of development, or even recall of the crisis.

Many times it seemed that was the first time she had heard that story, lividly her, but little thought. However, we did not identify the existence of this type of work in the researched CAPSi. In our view, the absence of these spaces can contribute to the crystallization of the representations of the crisis as a fright or negative surprise. The denying of the crisis One of the consequences of the absence of spaces of sharing memories and meanings of crisis experiences seems to be the denial of it.

This suggests that the process of denial of the crisis is a not only a defence of adolescents and their families, but also of professionals, in face of the instability and suffering that it raises The crisis as externality: expulsion of the crisis The first crisis as one for which there is no explanation is also the one that is characterized by externality.

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It is what we noticed in seeing that the attention to the crisis of the teenagers had been assigned exclusively to the General Hospital, having difficulty in the construction of care strategies in the CAPSi itself or joint actions with other institutions.

Looking to elaborate the crisis Despite the processes of denying crisis experiences, the interviewees were able to recognize some resources that they used to overcome it. She also presents the hymns of the church as an effective personal resource: […] I went to church very often, I was a missionary, then when I was in crisis I sang a lot of evangelical church hymns.

Then when I was in the hospital I wanted to sing this hymn, because it soothed me. In one of the cases, CAPSi's investment is also identified as an important support for the crisis. Luciana's brother and a professional emphasize that the improvement of the adolescent was a result of, mainly, increasing the days in which she remained in the service, providing a car for her transport, and the intensification of the contact between professionals and the family.

It is noteworthy that the intermediary is not the object itself hymn, phone call, et cetera , but the possibility of transiting between different dimensions of reality: between the inner and outer world, between past and future, between the self and the other Both understand that this phenomenon was a consequence of the lack of medication, not associated to any other factor of distress of the adolescent.

The only strategy to deal with this episode was to change the medication from pills to liquid, with no change in his Singular Therapeutic Project or in the offers of service. Furthermore, the last crisis of the teenager had happened, according to her mother, due to the reduction of the medication and the possibility of error of the laboratory in the manipulation of the formula. Thus, before the crisis there are no other strategies different from medication: it seems as though overcoming the crisis could forgo the ability of adolescents of creating strategies that take into account their routines and unique ways of life.

The crisis as a loss The crisis represented major losses in the lives of the adolescents. She just wants to sleep. Before she liked to do things, now she does not like it. She does not help at home, does no work, she only sleeps. But now she's so discouraged that I'm afraid to tell her to do things […] I think she might think she's going to a place and might go to another, take the wrong bus, I do not know.

The professionals were also unanimous in linking the crisis to a time of loss, presenting a pessimistic view about the possibilities of creation to be derived from it: […] She will never be the same.

At least I have never seen an adult or adolescent that have a crisis go back to the way they were before[…] Because I think that psychosis is this, right?

You lose something of what you had and also lose the ability to acquire new teachings, new knowledge, affective gains, right? Professional of the service In the interviews, the professionals considered that the crisis experienced during adolescence is more severe than that which occurred in adulthood, because it involves a special loss, not only of what was already had, but also of the future, of what the teenager will no longer be able to live or learn: At 16 they have little luggage and little repertoire, they are beginning life, they are still in the middle of the academic cycle […] it seems that at every crisis something gets lost a bit.

Things get lost. It's too early, right? I consider the prognosis more negative in adolescence than in adulthood. Professional of the service The particularities of the work at the time of the crisis in adolescence compared to the crisis in adulthood, are taken by professionals in a special way, due to the involvement with the family, that would be present in the first case: Maybe I think the teenager's crisis is much more flowery.

Impacting is the word. But I think that it messes with a lot more than the adult's crisis. It's more impacting, yes. Because it catches the parents in a situation of: C'mon, the dude was in school, he was going, things are on their way.

And this teenager is still somewhat dependent and then I think that the insertion of the family is different from the adult's family.

Because the adult is already under his own control, has already walked half the way, I do not know, I think it is about that. Professional of the service A professional highlights even that it is also more difficult for the family to accompany a crisis in adolescence than in childhood: Because when it is a small child these parents are already noticing that: Really, there is something different about him.

And even if it is like this: He was perfectly normal up to two years old it is different from him being perfectly normal up to sixteen, fifteen years old. What happened to this creature that in a week is okay and in the next week is not? That takes off clothes on the street or hits, or assaults the father […] Professional of the service The stories narrated show that, despite the crisis appearing as a loss in the life and routine of adolescents, it does not shapes up as a landmark for changes in care strategies of the CAPSi.

For the author, in being governed by rules of functionality and, at the same time, constituting oneself as a space of welcoming subjects, the group may come to be constitute itself a frame of emergency and development of the components of a personal crisis. The group presented itself, thus, as a result of a joint construction of all the individuals that compose it.

However, the CAPSi studied did not seem to have containing and lucrative group spaces for collective elaborations.

This weakness of developing devices also makes it impossible the meeting of the team with their own losses, with the disillusion and feelings of failure aroused by the violence of the crisis and by the precariousness resources of the service itself materials, technology, infrastructure, among others. Such experiences tend to bring the service to experience their own crises, but without a group structure, such crises tend to be denied This happens because, for the author, alliances between the different subjects that make up the organization are supported by each one's specific defense mechanisms; beliefs and common ideals that establish the representational identity of the team, institution, group.

In the context studied, the crisis of the teenagers seemed to destabilize the service that, to defend itself, tends to build institutional reinforcements, be it transferring the patient to the General Hospital, be it considering them weak, forgetting them, depriving the subjects of devices to talk about them, or, even, creating a rigid and fragmented work organization, that separates professionals from the suffering awakened by the contact with users.

Add to this the observation that the precariousness of the material conditions of health services contributes to the exacerbation of the requirement for mental work of the professionals So very quickly — really about six weeks into this research — I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen. And so I pulled back out of the research and thought, I need to figure out what this is. And it turned out to be shame.

And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?

The things I can tell you about it: It's universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection.

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No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," — which, we all know that feeling: I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough.

This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. And you know how I feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability. And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick.

I'm going in, I'm going to figure this stuff out, I'm going to spend a year, I'm going to totally deconstruct shame, I'm going to understand how vulnerability works, and I'm going to outsmart it. So I was ready, and I was really excited. As you know, it's not going to turn out well.

You know this. So, I could tell you a lot about shame, but I'd have to borrow everyone else's time. But here's what I can tell you that it boils down to — and this may be one of the most important things that I've ever learned in the decade of doing this research.

My one year turned into six years: Thousands of stories, hundreds of long interviews, focus groups. At one point, people were sending me journal pages and sending me their stories — thousands of pieces of data in six years. And I kind of got a handle on it. I kind of understood, this is what shame is, this is how it works.

I wrote a book, I published a theory, but something was not okay — and what it was is that, if I roughly took the people I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness — that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness — they have a strong sense of love and belonging — and folks who struggle for it, and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough.

There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy.

And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection, was something that, personally and professionally, I felt like I needed to understand better.

So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those. What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted.

So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents.

What's the theme? What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.

And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language — it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" — and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.

And the last was they had connection, and — this was the hard part — as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection. The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability.

They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating — as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing.

They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental. I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job — you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena for the explicit reason to control and predict.

And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting. This led to a little breakdown —. A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you, it was a breakdown. And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist.

Let me tell you something: Do you have any recommendations? I was like, "What does that mean? Don't bring your measuring stick. I was like, "Okay. My first meeting with her, Diana — I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down. And she said, "How are you?

I'm okay. And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling.

The crisis as a fright and surprise

And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. And I think I have a problem, and I need some help. And then I said, "It's bad, right? And it did, and it didn't. And it took about a year.

And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it. I don't even hang out with people like that. For me, it was a yearlong street fight. It was a slugfest. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back. And so then I went back into the research and spent the next couple of years really trying to understand what they, the whole-hearted, what choices they were making, and what we are doing with vulnerability.

Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability? So this is what I learned. We numb vulnerability — when we're waiting for the call. It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook that says, "How would you define vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable? Because I wanted to know what's out there. Having to ask my husband for help because I'm sick, and we're newly married; initiating sex with my husband; initiating sex with my wife; being turned down; asking someone out; waiting for the doctor to call back; getting laid off; laying off people.

This is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.So where I started was with connection. He's still, without moving! They were tempted to become soldiers by promises of money, food and clothing. Truth or Dare Fill in the blanks vs. Then when I was in the hospital I wanted to sing this hymn, because it soothed me. Through these examples, we hope to have shown that the crisis, usually located in only one subject, is awakened by and awakens instabilities, breaks, insufficiencies in psychological, social, institutional, and cultural instances Her school is full of pupils who have been expelled from schools in nearby Glasgow.

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